The Best in Timeless (and Not-So-Timeless) '80s Rock
Just imagine for a moment, if you will, that you were born in the early to mid-’70s. That would mean that the most impressionable time in your life would have been the early to mid-’80s. Which, subsequently, would suggest that you believe deep down to your very soul that people are dead wrong when they say ‘80s music is the absolute worst era in popular music history.
Now, that certainly doesn’t mean there weren’t bad songs that somehow became hits anyway in the 1980s. In fact, there might even have been more bad songs that reared their ugly mugs in the ‘80s than in any other decade. That would explain that era being so frequently named the worst-ever for pop music.
But at the same time, all that badness does not inherently mean that there wasn’t a boatload of goodness coming out of the ‘80s, too. Heck, one might even be tempted to say that—especially when it comes to rock music of the ‘80s—it was one of the best eras. The best, even!
To say that, however…you’d probably have to have been born in the early to mid-’70s and fallen in love with music in the early to mid-’80s, during your most impressionable years. So if you aren't lucky enough to fall into that category (and most certainly if you do fall into that category), read on to learn about some of the most-rockin’ songs from the ‘80s. Then head over to Amazon Music’s fist-pumpin’, Van Halen’s “Jump”-in’, Queen’s John Deacon bass-thumpin’ Rediscover the ‘80s: Rock playlist.
1. Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
“I Love Rock ‘N Roll” (1981)
First lesson of timeless ‘80s rock music: Your song can embody the very essence of the 1980s—indeed, it can make every last music fan who was alive in the ‘80s think back to exactly where they were and what was going on at the time the song hit the radio airwaves, parachute pants and all—and still be a timeless track. Exhibit A: Ms. Jett and her Blackhearts’ biggest hit.
You think “Eighties” from that first dry drum fill and the meat-and-potatoes guitar riffs that follow in the “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” intro because it came out in the ‘80s, but not because it sounds like the ‘80s. In fact, it’s a cover of the British band Arrows’ version, which came out in 1975 and was just as straightforward rock ‘n’ roll as Jett’s version. It would’ve made sense on a ‘70s Slade record, an ‘80s John Mellencamp record, a ‘90s Collective Soul record, or a 2000s Jet record. So, it’s pretty much the definition of timeless.
Chart highlights: Billboard Hot 100 Number 1 (USA, seven weeks); Number 1 in six other countries; Number 1 single of 1982 in Canada.
2. Bryan Adams
“Summer of ‘69” (1985)
In addition to forgoing the use of trendy instruments and production values, it helps on the pathway to timelessness if a song’s lyrics are relatable to every generation. Even though the popularity of electronic music has made guitars and high school rock bands a little less common to the teenage experience, everybody can still relate to the good ol’ days Adams is thinking back to in “Summer of ‘69.”
All the big plans kids had, until marriage and work got in the way. How you couldn’t wait to extract yourself from that time, and now you’d give anything to go back to it. How all those life problems and romantic setbacks felt like the end of the world back then, but now? What you wouldn’t give to have those kinds of problems be your biggest worries today!
Some of Adams’s gargantuan hits that followed in the ‘90s gave him a reputation for schmaltzy balladry (although, hey, nothing wrong with a little schmaltzy balladry on occasion, either!), but in the ‘80s he was playin’ that six-string till his fingers bled, just like he did back in the summer of ‘69. His extensive list of enduring rock classics included “This Time,” “Straight from the Heart,” and “Cuts Like a Knife” from 1983’s Cuts Like a Knife, as well as an incredible arsenal of chart-toppers from late 1984’s Reckless album, consisting of “Summer of ‘69,” “Run to You,” “Somebody,” “One Night Love Affair,” and “It’s Only Love” (which was a duet with Tina Turner).
Chart highlights: Billboard Hot 100 Number 5 (USA); second-highest-charting single for Adams (the ballad “Heaven” went to Number 1) until 1991’s “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You,” which was the first of three more Number 1’s and six more Top 5’s.
3. Queen
“Another One Bites the Dust” (1980)
Queen’s best-selling single is so timeless that it doesn’t even remind the listener of the ‘80s whatsoever. Part of the reason: it was released in mid-1980, before the cheesy synths, processed guitar sounds, and electric drums the decade became known for went mainstream.
In fact, “Another One Bites the Dust” is often classified as disco since that decidedly 1970s genre was still (barely) kicking at the time. Plus, songwriter John Deacon’s bassline was pure disco groove. But other than the bass, the track is just another brilliant rock tune by one of rock’s most brilliant bands, of any era.
Chart highlights: Number 1 in the U.S., Canada, Israel, and Spain; Number 2 Billboard Hot Disco Single and Billboard Hot Soul Single; longest-running Top 10 single in America in 1980.
4. Billy Idol
“Rebel Yell” (1983/1985)
Yes, there are a few production qualities employed on “Rebel Yell” that are, perhaps, a bit dated. There is some synth, and some flanged drums pop up that are very “1983.” But you know what? Nobody cared then, and no one cares now.
“Rebel Yell” is a timeless, classic hard rock song because of the following: Billy Idol’s heavy metal growl; his Elvis Presley-style curled-up lip; his spiky punk rock hair; his not-too-menacing/not-too-mild fist-pumps; and Steve Stevens’s guitar sounding like a red-alert tornado siren—an effect that was completely alien at the time. Plus, when Idol chose to actually sing, he sounded like a goth Jim Morrison of the Doors.
Bottom line: this shout-along song couldn’t have been more, more, more, more, more of a masterpiece. There’s nothing that’s ever going to be uncool about this single.
Chart highlights: Top 10 in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and once it was re-released in 1985, the UK; in the U.S. it went to Number 9 on the Billboard Top Rock Tracks chart.
5. ZZ Top
“Legs” (1984)
We’ve already mentioned MTV multiple times, and the video music channel’s glory days will be mentioned many times more here. For music fans who were going through an existential music obsession anytime between 1981 and the mid-1990s, it’s hard to overstate just what kind of kingmaker that all-powerful channel became. And ZZ Top is a great example of a band that wildly benefited from MTV’s reign.
Keep in mind, though, that if MTV never happened, and the Top’s big mainstream breakthrough album, Eliminator, didn’t have the iconic videos for “Gimme All Your Lovin’,” “Sharp Dressed Man,” and “Legs” to boost sales, the band still would have been more than fine. Eliminator was their eighth studio album. They’d already had plenty of rock radio hits. And the songs listed above are as good as any they’ve ever released.
So you’ve gotta believe they’d still be a huge draw, regardless. They’d probably still be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But the innovative and cinematic concepts of those videos—and those crazy-long beards!—ensured that ZZ Top went from steady-selling road warriors (who were superstars in Texas and respected boogie-and-blues rockers everywhere else) to worldwide sensations.
Chart highlights: With the above said, the MTV fame never translated to widespread radio dominance for the band. They were certainly successful over the airwaves—in the U.S., “Legs” went to Number 8 pop and Number 3 mainstream rock—but they never realized Def Leppard- or Bon Jovi-caliber crossover radio play.
6. Dire Straits
“Money for Nothing” (1985)
Dire Straits were another example of a group that had plenty of critical acclaim and a solid worldwide following by the mid-’80s. But they hadn’t experienced the kind of life-changing success these nutso MTV music video numbers could provide. Therefore, ahead of their fifth studio album, they not only broke down and produced an expensive concept video with futuristic computer graphics, but they made MTV a central figure in the lyrics of the record’s premier single. (Oh yes, and they brought in the Police’s Sting, the biggest MTV star this side of Michael Jackson and Madonna, as an uncredited special guest.)
“Money for Nothing,” then, was a smash at both radio and MTV, catapulting Brothers in Arms to monumental sales figures. It was simply the absolute perfect song to come along at the absolute perfect time. Lyrically, it savvily teased and praised MTV simultaneously. And musically, it features one of the most dramatic and just downright cool preludes to a song in rock history.
Chart highlights: Number 1 on the American and Canadian pop charts; there were other tracks from Brothers that did well (“Walk of Life,” “So Far Away”), but for the most part, it was the sheer triumph of “Money for Nothing” and its utterly unique music video that sold 30 million albums worldwide and made the LP the UK’s first to sell 10 million copies.
7. Van Halen
“Jump” (1983)
Van Halen were doing extraordinarily well as a touring rock band leading up to the release of their sixth album, 1984. Eddie Van Halen was the undisputed greatest guitarist on the planet. Led by wisecracking and merrymaking proto-frontman David Lee Roth, the scope of their live exploits ranked right up there with Queen and Kiss.
But were they the biggest band in the world? Nah, that was the Police. Or even the biggest band from America? Probably not, as there was Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, Prince and the Revolution...or if you don’t think those count as bands, then, believe it or not, the biggest American band of 1983 was probably Quiet Riot, whose Metal Health had recently become the first heavy metal LP to reach the Number 1 spot on the Billboard 200 albums chart.
“Jump” put an end to all that. Released to radio a couple weeks ahead of 1984’s January ‘84 release date, the song was as much of a no-doubter Number 1 hit as any song to come out of the era, be it of pop, rock, R&B, or any other genre. Ironically, the band’s career-defining hit saw guitar god Eddie Van Halen make use of—the horror!—a synthesizer. (Although it was a big, juicy, aggressive, senses-overloading synthesizer.)
The sound of “Jump” overall was just so exciting. It had the perfect blend of hard rock and pop-rock, the perfect helping of Roth’s charismatic vocal belts and squeals, and it still saw Eddie Van Halen take yet another genius guitar solo (followed by an equally genius synth solo). And when it came to videos, while many bands and artists of the early to mid-’80s were trying to outdo each other in extravagance, the video for “Jump” was just the band playing live on a nondescript stage. It was all they needed to become the biggest band in...well, America, at least.
Chart highlights: Billboard Hot 100 and Billboard Mainstream Rock Number 1; Number 1 in Canada and Number 2 in Australia and Ireland; Number 7 in the UK.
8. Guns N’ Roses
“Welcome to the Jungle” (1987)
Perhaps equally familiar as the opening stabs of synthesizer in “Jump” is GN’R guitarist Slash’s echoing Les Paul riffs at the beginning of “Welcome to the Jungle.” There are a couple teasing false starts, and then Slash digs into the opening guitar line that started it all for the band.
Guns N’ Roses barely feel like an ‘80s band, let alone an ‘80s glam metal band. But that’s the genre they get lumped in with, primarily because of timing (and also because, just maybe, singer Axl Rose sports a poofy hairdo in the music video for “Jungle”). Meanwhile, the band they probably take after most, Aerosmith, were beginning their career resurgence when GN’R’s debut album, Appetite for Destruction, was readying for release. But while Aerosmith were going all-in on the poppier side of mid-’80s hard rock, Guns N’ Roses were taking the grimiest, most aggressive version of ‘70s Aerosmith and making it even grimier.
The single after “Jungle,” “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” wasn’t a proper ballad, per se—it rocked a bit—but it was far more subdued and, naturally, went to Number 1 on the American pop charts. But that shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise since the gritty, hardscrabble, street urchin tale that was “Welcome to the Jungle” made it all the way to Number 7, itself.
Chart highlights: Number 7 on the Billboard Hot 100; gold-selling single in America; highest chart position was Number 6 in New Zealand.
9. Twisted Sister
“We’re Not Gonna Take It” (1984)
Ah, the spring of 1984. Hard rock and heavy metal had finally, truly arrived on MTV, and even on pop radio. “Jump” was still ruling the airwaves of every radio station in America, regardless of genre. L.A. upstarts Ratt clawed all the way to a Number 12 Billboard Hot 100 slot with possibly the greatest hair metal song of all time, “Round and Round.” And Scorpions had even managed a Top 25 pop radio showing in the U.S. with their smash anthem “Rock You Like a Hurricane.”
Mindful of these triumphs were many fellow hard rockers like Bon Jovi, Mötley Crüe, and Whitesnake, as well as acts like Kiss, Aerosmith, and AC/DC who came up in the ‘70s and were looking to reboot. They were all poised to follow the same path to music video glory.
But first came Twisted Sister. They were a ‘70s band, too, having cut their teeth on the blue-collar bar circuit of Long Island and the surrounding areas. The band members seemingly paid every due 100 times over before finally getting a shot to release their debut album, Under the Blade, on an indie label in 1982. Then Atlantic Records came calling for second LP You Can’t Stop Rock ‘n’ Roll.
Those albums are highly underrated. With hindsight, respected rock critics and heavy metal publications have given them high praise for being as well-written as they are hard-rockin’. But alas, none of the songs on those LPs had accompanying videos to ship to MTV.
Prior to 1984’s stone-cold classic Stay Hungry album, Twisted Sister looked appropriately mean and ornery in their denim-clad press photos. But they really went for it in the spring of 1984. Their video for the ultimate rock anthem of the Eighties, “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” was funny, outrageous, and featured burly dudes in caked-on makeup and tattered but brightly colored attire wreaking cartoonish havoc on a very uptight dad and mom. The clip, and the single, made Twisted Sister superstars, if only for a couple of years.
Chart highlights: Billboard Hot 100 Number 21; Top 10 in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and Sweden; Stay Hungry went triple platinum in America and hit Number 15 on the Billboard 200.
10. Def Leppard
“Photograph” (1983)
Agreed, “Pour Some Sugar on Me” could be the most iconic ‘80s rock song there is. Plus, it appeared on the Leps’ biggest album (1987’s Hysteria sold 20 million, whereas its predecessor, 1983’s Pyromania, sold a measly 10 million). But when we want to talk about timeless music, and songs that have zero-percent cringe to their rock ‘n’ roll bona fides, let’s face it: “Pour Some Sugar on Me” is gloriously good fun, but it’s just a little too pop-metal.
“Photograph,” however, along with Pyromania-era Lep classics “Foolin’,” “Rock of Ages,” and “Too Late for Love,” had plenty of pop-metal meat on the bone. They were accessible and ultra-melodic, but still sounded tough. And singer Joe Elliott hadn’t frosted his hair yet, so, that helped, too.
“Photograph,” in particular, displayed giganti-hit qualities. The late Steve Clark’s guitar intro was instantly recognizable, and the way the full band waited till the second part of the verse to kick in provided perfect metal melodrama. It’s an exciting song from the jump, both catchy and relatable, with lyrics pining for and mourning Marilyn Monroe.
So Hysteria was indeed a phenomenon, with its seven hit singles and total domination of the MTV video airwaves. But for many Def Leppard fans (especially those who preferred them when they were part of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal with Iron Maiden and Judas Priest), Pyromania and its biggest hit, “Photograph,” are the truly timeless entries in the band’s catalog.
Chart highlights: Number 1 on the Billboard Mainstream Rock chart and Number 12 overall in America; strangely, as Pyromania could only be held from America’s Number 1 album slot by the biggest-selling album of all time (Michael Jackson's Thriller), it took the uncanny hitmaking ability of Hysteria for the band to finally break big on the charts of their native England.
BONUS:
Here are some songs that might not be “timeless,” necessarily, but they’re on the Rediscover the ‘80s: Rock playlist anyway, and they are totally radical (and have never gagged anyone with a spoon or any other utensil)!
Survivor, “Eye of the Tiger” (1982): It’s the theme song from Rocky III, of course, so one could say the track will survive in perpetuity just because of its place in film history. But it’s verrry Eighties. A massive Number 1 hit, though, and great to work out to!
Billy Squier, “The Stroke” (1981): Instead of being made by MTV, Squier was sabotaged by them—or perhaps it’s more accurate to say he was sabotaged by his music video choreographer for the 1984 hit “Rock Me Tonite” (ironically his biggest hit in the U.S. at Number 15). The showy solo bedroom dancing displayed in the video is commonly thought to have done Squier’s career in.
And it’s a shame, because Billy Squier released a long list of killer rock songs, including (in addition to “Rock Me Tonite”) “My Kinda Lover,” “Lonely Is the Night,” “In the Dark,” “Everybody Wants You,” and the biggest, baddest, and boldest of them all, “The Stroke.”
Eddie Money, “Take Me Home Tonight” (1986): It’s not uncommon for folks to believe the late, great Eddie Money was just churning out sugary pop morsels for ‘80s radio—great for the time, but they couldn’t possibly hold up, could they?
Sure they could! Put on some headphones and revisit the guy’s singles catalog—although set aside a good long while, because he released a ton of smash tracks. “Take Me Home Tonight” happens to be his biggest hit, but not by much: there’s “Baby Hold On,” “Think I’m in Love,” “I Wanna Go Back,” “Walk on Water,” and...oh man, what’s that other one? Oh yeah: “Two Tickets to Paradise,” anybody??
C’mon, now! Timeless.
Just imagine for a moment, if you will, that you were born in the early to mid-’70s. That would mean that the most impressionable time in your life would have been the early to mid-’80s. Which, subsequently, would suggest that you believe deep down to your very soul that people are dead wrong when they say ‘80s music is the absolute worst era in popular music history.
Now, that certainly doesn’t mean there weren’t bad songs that somehow became hits anyway in the 1980s. In fact, there might even have been more bad songs that reared their ugly mugs in the ‘80s than in any other decade. That would explain that era being so frequently named the worst-ever for pop music.
But at the same time, all that badness does not inherently mean that there wasn’t a boatload of goodness coming out of the ‘80s, too. Heck, one might even be tempted to say that—especially when it comes to rock music of the ‘80s—it was one of the best eras. The best, even!
To say that, however…you’d probably have to have been born in the early to mid-’70s and fallen in love with music in the early to mid-’80s, during your most impressionable years. So if you aren't lucky enough to fall into that category (and most certainly if you do fall into that category), read on to learn about some of the most-rockin’ songs from the ‘80s. Then head over to Amazon Music’s fist-pumpin’, Van Halen’s “Jump”-in’, Queen’s John Deacon bass-thumpin’ Rediscover the ‘80s: Rock playlist.
1. Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
“I Love Rock ‘N Roll” (1981)
First lesson of timeless ‘80s rock music: Your song can embody the very essence of the 1980s—indeed, it can make every last music fan who was alive in the ‘80s think back to exactly where they were and what was going on at the time the song hit the radio airwaves, parachute pants and all—and still be a timeless track. Exhibit A: Ms. Jett and her Blackhearts’ biggest hit.
You think “Eighties” from that first dry drum fill and the meat-and-potatoes guitar riffs that follow in the “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” intro because it came out in the ‘80s, but not because it sounds like the ‘80s. In fact, it’s a cover of the British band Arrows’ version, which came out in 1975 and was just as straightforward rock ‘n’ roll as Jett’s version. It would’ve made sense on a ‘70s Slade record, an ‘80s John Mellencamp record, a ‘90s Collective Soul record, or a 2000s Jet record. So, it’s pretty much the definition of timeless.
Chart highlights: Billboard Hot 100 Number 1 (USA, seven weeks); Number 1 in six other countries; Number 1 single of 1982 in Canada.
2. Bryan Adams
“Summer of ‘69” (1985)
In addition to forgoing the use of trendy instruments and production values, it helps on the pathway to timelessness if a song’s lyrics are relatable to every generation. Even though the popularity of electronic music has made guitars and high school rock bands a little less common to the teenage experience, everybody can still relate to the good ol’ days Adams is thinking back to in “Summer of ‘69.”
All the big plans kids had, until marriage and work got in the way. How you couldn’t wait to extract yourself from that time, and now you’d give anything to go back to it. How all those life problems and romantic setbacks felt like the end of the world back then, but now? What you wouldn’t give to have those kinds of problems be your biggest worries today!
Some of Adams’s gargantuan hits that followed in the ‘90s gave him a reputation for schmaltzy balladry (although, hey, nothing wrong with a little schmaltzy balladry on occasion, either!), but in the ‘80s he was playin’ that six-string till his fingers bled, just like he did back in the summer of ‘69. His extensive list of enduring rock classics included “This Time,” “Straight from the Heart,” and “Cuts Like a Knife” from 1983’s Cuts Like a Knife, as well as an incredible arsenal of chart-toppers from late 1984’s Reckless album, consisting of “Summer of ‘69,” “Run to You,” “Somebody,” “One Night Love Affair,” and “It’s Only Love” (which was a duet with Tina Turner).
Chart highlights: Billboard Hot 100 Number 5 (USA); second-highest-charting single for Adams (the ballad “Heaven” went to Number 1) until 1991’s “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You,” which was the first of three more Number 1’s and six more Top 5’s.
3. Queen
“Another One Bites the Dust” (1980)
Queen’s best-selling single is so timeless that it doesn’t even remind the listener of the ‘80s whatsoever. Part of the reason: it was released in mid-1980, before the cheesy synths, processed guitar sounds, and electric drums the decade became known for went mainstream.
In fact, “Another One Bites the Dust” is often classified as disco since that decidedly 1970s genre was still (barely) kicking at the time. Plus, songwriter John Deacon’s bassline was pure disco groove. But other than the bass, the track is just another brilliant rock tune by one of rock’s most brilliant bands, of any era.
Chart highlights: Number 1 in the U.S., Canada, Israel, and Spain; Number 2 Billboard Hot Disco Single and Billboard Hot Soul Single; longest-running Top 10 single in America in 1980.
4. Billy Idol
“Rebel Yell” (1983/1985)
Yes, there are a few production qualities employed on “Rebel Yell” that are, perhaps, a bit dated. There is some synth, and some flanged drums pop up that are very “1983.” But you know what? Nobody cared then, and no one cares now.
“Rebel Yell” is a timeless, classic hard rock song because of the following: Billy Idol’s heavy metal growl; his Elvis Presley-style curled-up lip; his spiky punk rock hair; his not-too-menacing/not-too-mild fist-pumps; and Steve Stevens’s guitar sounding like a red-alert tornado siren—an effect that was completely alien at the time. Plus, when Idol chose to actually sing, he sounded like a goth Jim Morrison of the Doors.
Bottom line: this shout-along song couldn’t have been more, more, more, more, more of a masterpiece. There’s nothing that’s ever going to be uncool about this single.
Chart highlights: Top 10 in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and once it was re-released in 1985, the UK; in the U.S. it went to Number 9 on the Billboard Top Rock Tracks chart.
5. ZZ Top
“Legs” (1984)
We’ve already mentioned MTV multiple times, and the video music channel’s glory days will be mentioned many times more here. For music fans who were going through an existential music obsession anytime between 1981 and the mid-1990s, it’s hard to overstate just what kind of kingmaker that all-powerful channel became. And ZZ Top is a great example of a band that wildly benefited from MTV’s reign.
Keep in mind, though, that if MTV never happened, and the Top’s big mainstream breakthrough album, Eliminator, didn’t have the iconic videos for “Gimme All Your Lovin’,” “Sharp Dressed Man,” and “Legs” to boost sales, the band still would have been more than fine. Eliminator was their eighth studio album. They’d already had plenty of rock radio hits. And the songs listed above are as good as any they’ve ever released.
So you’ve gotta believe they’d still be a huge draw, regardless. They’d probably still be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But the innovative and cinematic concepts of those videos—and those crazy-long beards!—ensured that ZZ Top went from steady-selling road warriors (who were superstars in Texas and respected boogie-and-blues rockers everywhere else) to worldwide sensations.
Chart highlights: With the above said, the MTV fame never translated to widespread radio dominance for the band. They were certainly successful over the airwaves—in the U.S., “Legs” went to Number 8 pop and Number 3 mainstream rock—but they never realized Def Leppard- or Bon Jovi-caliber crossover radio play.
6. Dire Straits
“Money for Nothing” (1985)
Dire Straits were another example of a group that had plenty of critical acclaim and a solid worldwide following by the mid-’80s. But they hadn’t experienced the kind of life-changing success these nutso MTV music video numbers could provide. Therefore, ahead of their fifth studio album, they not only broke down and produced an expensive concept video with futuristic computer graphics, but they made MTV a central figure in the lyrics of the record’s premier single. (Oh yes, and they brought in the Police’s Sting, the biggest MTV star this side of Michael Jackson and Madonna, as an uncredited special guest.)
“Money for Nothing,” then, was a smash at both radio and MTV, catapulting Brothers in Arms to monumental sales figures. It was simply the absolute perfect song to come along at the absolute perfect time. Lyrically, it savvily teased and praised MTV simultaneously. And musically, it features one of the most dramatic and just downright cool preludes to a song in rock history.
Chart highlights: Number 1 on the American and Canadian pop charts; there were other tracks from Brothers that did well (“Walk of Life,” “So Far Away”), but for the most part, it was the sheer triumph of “Money for Nothing” and its utterly unique music video that sold 30 million albums worldwide and made the LP the UK’s first to sell 10 million copies.
7. Van Halen
“Jump” (1983)
Van Halen were doing extraordinarily well as a touring rock band leading up to the release of their sixth album, 1984. Eddie Van Halen was the undisputed greatest guitarist on the planet. Led by wisecracking and merrymaking proto-frontman David Lee Roth, the scope of their live exploits ranked right up there with Queen and Kiss.
But were they the biggest band in the world? Nah, that was the Police. Or even the biggest band from America? Probably not, as there was Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, Prince and the Revolution...or if you don’t think those count as bands, then, believe it or not, the biggest American band of 1983 was probably Quiet Riot, whose Metal Health had recently become the first heavy metal LP to reach the Number 1 spot on the Billboard 200 albums chart.
“Jump” put an end to all that. Released to radio a couple weeks ahead of 1984’s January ‘84 release date, the song was as much of a no-doubter Number 1 hit as any song to come out of the era, be it of pop, rock, R&B, or any other genre. Ironically, the band’s career-defining hit saw guitar god Eddie Van Halen make use of—the horror!—a synthesizer. (Although it was a big, juicy, aggressive, senses-overloading synthesizer.)
The sound of “Jump” overall was just so exciting. It had the perfect blend of hard rock and pop-rock, the perfect helping of Roth’s charismatic vocal belts and squeals, and it still saw Eddie Van Halen take yet another genius guitar solo (followed by an equally genius synth solo). And when it came to videos, while many bands and artists of the early to mid-’80s were trying to outdo each other in extravagance, the video for “Jump” was just the band playing live on a nondescript stage. It was all they needed to become the biggest band in...well, America, at least.
Chart highlights: Billboard Hot 100 and Billboard Mainstream Rock Number 1; Number 1 in Canada and Number 2 in Australia and Ireland; Number 7 in the UK.
8. Guns N’ Roses
“Welcome to the Jungle” (1987)
Perhaps equally familiar as the opening stabs of synthesizer in “Jump” is GN’R guitarist Slash’s echoing Les Paul riffs at the beginning of “Welcome to the Jungle.” There are a couple teasing false starts, and then Slash digs into the opening guitar line that started it all for the band.
Guns N’ Roses barely feel like an ‘80s band, let alone an ‘80s glam metal band. But that’s the genre they get lumped in with, primarily because of timing (and also because, just maybe, singer Axl Rose sports a poofy hairdo in the music video for “Jungle”). Meanwhile, the band they probably take after most, Aerosmith, were beginning their career resurgence when GN’R’s debut album, Appetite for Destruction, was readying for release. But while Aerosmith were going all-in on the poppier side of mid-’80s hard rock, Guns N’ Roses were taking the grimiest, most aggressive version of ‘70s Aerosmith and making it even grimier.
The single after “Jungle,” “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” wasn’t a proper ballad, per se—it rocked a bit—but it was far more subdued and, naturally, went to Number 1 on the American pop charts. But that shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise since the gritty, hardscrabble, street urchin tale that was “Welcome to the Jungle” made it all the way to Number 7, itself.
Chart highlights: Number 7 on the Billboard Hot 100; gold-selling single in America; highest chart position was Number 6 in New Zealand.
9. Twisted Sister
“We’re Not Gonna Take It” (1984)
Ah, the spring of 1984. Hard rock and heavy metal had finally, truly arrived on MTV, and even on pop radio. “Jump” was still ruling the airwaves of every radio station in America, regardless of genre. L.A. upstarts Ratt clawed all the way to a Number 12 Billboard Hot 100 slot with possibly the greatest hair metal song of all time, “Round and Round.” And Scorpions had even managed a Top 25 pop radio showing in the U.S. with their smash anthem “Rock You Like a Hurricane.”
Mindful of these triumphs were many fellow hard rockers like Bon Jovi, Mötley Crüe, and Whitesnake, as well as acts like Kiss, Aerosmith, and AC/DC who came up in the ‘70s and were looking to reboot. They were all poised to follow the same path to music video glory.
But first came Twisted Sister. They were a ‘70s band, too, having cut their teeth on the blue-collar bar circuit of Long Island and the surrounding areas. The band members seemingly paid every due 100 times over before finally getting a shot to release their debut album, Under the Blade, on an indie label in 1982. Then Atlantic Records came calling for second LP You Can’t Stop Rock ‘n’ Roll.
Those albums are highly underrated. With hindsight, respected rock critics and heavy metal publications have given them high praise for being as well-written as they are hard-rockin’. But alas, none of the songs on those LPs had accompanying videos to ship to MTV.
Prior to 1984’s stone-cold classic Stay Hungry album, Twisted Sister looked appropriately mean and ornery in their denim-clad press photos. But they really went for it in the spring of 1984. Their video for the ultimate rock anthem of the Eighties, “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” was funny, outrageous, and featured burly dudes in caked-on makeup and tattered but brightly colored attire wreaking cartoonish havoc on a very uptight dad and mom. The clip, and the single, made Twisted Sister superstars, if only for a couple of years.
Chart highlights: Billboard Hot 100 Number 21; Top 10 in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and Sweden; Stay Hungry went triple platinum in America and hit Number 15 on the Billboard 200.
10. Def Leppard
“Photograph” (1983)
Agreed, “Pour Some Sugar on Me” could be the most iconic ‘80s rock song there is. Plus, it appeared on the Leps’ biggest album (1987’s Hysteria sold 20 million, whereas its predecessor, 1983’s Pyromania, sold a measly 10 million). But when we want to talk about timeless music, and songs that have zero-percent cringe to their rock ‘n’ roll bona fides, let’s face it: “Pour Some Sugar on Me” is gloriously good fun, but it’s just a little too pop-metal.
“Photograph,” however, along with Pyromania-era Lep classics “Foolin’,” “Rock of Ages,” and “Too Late for Love,” had plenty of pop-metal meat on the bone. They were accessible and ultra-melodic, but still sounded tough. And singer Joe Elliott hadn’t frosted his hair yet, so, that helped, too.
“Photograph,” in particular, displayed giganti-hit qualities. The late Steve Clark’s guitar intro was instantly recognizable, and the way the full band waited till the second part of the verse to kick in provided perfect metal melodrama. It’s an exciting song from the jump, both catchy and relatable, with lyrics pining for and mourning Marilyn Monroe.
So Hysteria was indeed a phenomenon, with its seven hit singles and total domination of the MTV video airwaves. But for many Def Leppard fans (especially those who preferred them when they were part of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal with Iron Maiden and Judas Priest), Pyromania and its biggest hit, “Photograph,” are the truly timeless entries in the band’s catalog.
Chart highlights: Number 1 on the Billboard Mainstream Rock chart and Number 12 overall in America; strangely, as Pyromania could only be held from America’s Number 1 album slot by the biggest-selling album of all time (Michael Jackson's Thriller), it took the uncanny hitmaking ability of Hysteria for the band to finally break big on the charts of their native England.
BONUS:
Here are some songs that might not be “timeless,” necessarily, but they’re on the Rediscover the ‘80s: Rock playlist anyway, and they are totally radical (and have never gagged anyone with a spoon or any other utensil)!
Survivor, “Eye of the Tiger” (1982): It’s the theme song from Rocky III, of course, so one could say the track will survive in perpetuity just because of its place in film history. But it’s verrry Eighties. A massive Number 1 hit, though, and great to work out to!
Billy Squier, “The Stroke” (1981): Instead of being made by MTV, Squier was sabotaged by them—or perhaps it’s more accurate to say he was sabotaged by his music video choreographer for the 1984 hit “Rock Me Tonite” (ironically his biggest hit in the U.S. at Number 15). The showy solo bedroom dancing displayed in the video is commonly thought to have done Squier’s career in.
And it’s a shame, because Billy Squier released a long list of killer rock songs, including (in addition to “Rock Me Tonite”) “My Kinda Lover,” “Lonely Is the Night,” “In the Dark,” “Everybody Wants You,” and the biggest, baddest, and boldest of them all, “The Stroke.”
Eddie Money, “Take Me Home Tonight” (1986): It’s not uncommon for folks to believe the late, great Eddie Money was just churning out sugary pop morsels for ‘80s radio—great for the time, but they couldn’t possibly hold up, could they?
Sure they could! Put on some headphones and revisit the guy’s singles catalog—although set aside a good long while, because he released a ton of smash tracks. “Take Me Home Tonight” happens to be his biggest hit, but not by much: there’s “Baby Hold On,” “Think I’m in Love,” “I Wanna Go Back,” “Walk on Water,” and...oh man, what’s that other one? Oh yeah: “Two Tickets to Paradise,” anybody??
C’mon, now! Timeless.